Week 7 Review:
Jobu’s Hats for Bats DEF Papi’s Space Cadets 8-2
What an unreal week: Offensively: 43/17/59/4/.293 and Pitching: 4/3/2.77/1.04/8.13… AND HE LOST 8-2!! The only categories Papi won were era and whip, but had he played any other team this week, the worst he would have done is win 6-4 (3 teams) and he would have defeated 3 other teams 8-2. (Stuff that research in your pipe and smoke it, ESPN). Jobu’s lineup was just juggernautish this week. It’s obvious that no one has touched Jobu’s rum for a few weeks now, as his sluggers have juiced 60 homers in the past 4 weeks. All Papi’s Space Cadets can do is curse the schedule maker and hope that the production continues, as they try to climb into playoff contention.
> Stud of the Week: several choices for each side, but we’re going with Ryan Braun this week. 8/6/10/0/.345 just barely beats out the weeks of Babe Berkman and Jayson Werth in a losing cause.
> Dud of the Week: Somehow, Brad Hawpe missed the “we rake this week” memo and spit out a paltry 2/0/0/0/.125 this week. If Mr. Hawpe doesn’t Hop to it (NICE!), he could very soon find himself on Legends…
BOB’Z BOYZ DEF Legends 6-4
Well, it only took 7 weeks, but BOB’Z Boyz finally ended up in victory lane, thanks to an offense that finally awoke after taking the first 6 weeks off. Alas, the same can’t be said for the struggling Legends, who dropped their 4th week in a row. A profanity laced tirade commemorating the 25th anniversary of Lee Elia wasn’t enough to get his bats going, or bring A-rod back from his booboo. The BOY’Z had some solid starts go to waste throughout the week too, so this score could have been a lot worse for Legends, as they took wins 6-5. An amusing fact: Kaz Matsui, Daisuke Matsuzaka, Maya Kobayashi… someone needs to trade Ichiro here FAST. Of course, if Ichiro knew he was in danger of heading to Legends, he would probably retire to avoid the certain ruptured Achilles that would certainly follow.
> Stud of the Week: Bob’s roster nominated Travis Hafner, as he was obviously an albatross around their necks, but since we have to award this to an active player, we’ll go with the far-too-often-shopped David Wright: 6/2/3/2/.346
> Dud of the Week: Even though Eric Byrnes’ line of 0/0/0/0/.000 can’t be topped offensively, we’re going to give the award here to Maya Kobayashi, who after recording the 2 saves that motivated Legends to grab him, rewarded Legends with: 0/0/81.00/6.00/0.00. That’s eastern gratitude for ya…
Regulators DEF Karma … oh wait… what??? crap…
Karma Chameleons DEF Regulators 7-3
After dropping 3 weeks in a row, Karma Chameleons got back on the W side with a convincing 7-3 victory over the 3rd seeded Regulators, snapping their 4 week unbeaten streak. Karma had a decent week, but several offensive categories were handed to him thanks to an historically anemic offensive week by the Regs. All they could manage was 4 home runs, as the big boppers were no where to be seen. In fact, The 5 offensive keepers on the Regs roster produced 1 HR, and it was from the speed guy, Carl Crawford! Newly acquired Clint Barmes tied for his team lead in HR with one! The Regulators will have their revenge though… week 15… mark it down….
> Stud of the Week: It has to go to Mike Napoli (grrrr….) The waiver pickup went 2/2/8/2/.294 from the catcher position! Sheesh…
> Dud of the Week: Choose your keeper: Mark “I don’t show up until June even in a contract year” Teixeira went 3/0/0/0/.136, and even tweaked his no-talent back this week. Behind door number 2: Alex “I’ll sign a huge extension and forget how to drive a ball” Rios gave me 1/0/2/0/.143… thanks guys…. appreciate it…
Snot on the Ball DEF L.L. Longball 6-4
Snot on the Ball continued his march toward fantasy history, winning his 7th week in a row defeating LL in a contest that saw most categories settled decisively. Longball did get serious production (finally) from his uber-studs Ryan Howard and Miguel Cabrera, with Dan Uggla continuing his surge to the middle infield elite, but unfortunately none of them pitch, as Longball was let down by all his starters not named Cole Hamels (though Justin Verlander finally wasn’t terrible). Snot was fairly fortunate to continue his win streak this week, as he was very weak in average, era and whip, but his lineup did just enough, despite human weeks from the dynamic duo of Chase Utley and Hanley Ramirez.
> Stud of the Week: This goes to the sober one, Josh Hamilton, who, moments after not being rejected in a deal that shall remain nameless (grrrr…) exploded for a 6/3/10/0/.429 week. I will now bash my head into my wall…
> Dud of the Week: We will bequeath this award to Jason Isringhausen, who, after losing his closers job, put up these numbers: 0/0/11.57/2.14/3.86, then slapped something sharp and ended up on the DL. I feel that frustrated whenever I try to spell his stupid name. His new name should be Jason Farfromclosin. (isn’t this stupid review done yet?!?!)
Bounty Hunters DEF The Swine Nine 6-4
If the pigs could have just oinked out 2 more wins, this one would have split evenly, with the Hunters taking all the hitting, and the prey taking all the pitching, but somehow the hunters took wins 4-3, and therefore won the week. This matchup produced the overall player of the week in Alfonso Soriano, who WENT OFF, averaging 1hr and 2rbi a day! Soriano almost doubled the Regs homerun output for the week himself! We think it’s safe to say that he’s healthy. Bounty Hunters has not lost yet this year. The only blemish is a week 2 tie to Papi’s Space Cadets. Something has to break this week as Bounty Hunters brings his 5 week winning streak against Snots 7 week winning streak. It’s like Pats Colts last year. Someone has to lose… (unless there’s a tie…).
> Stud of the Week: 10/7/14/0/.516. What, no steals? Chump… you should trade him… you want Alex Rios?
> Dud of the Week: Even though Rafael Betancourt had a 27era and a 5.25 whip, we’re giving this to Victor Martinez, who all of as sudden cannot hit for any power whatsoever. Good thing I traded him!! 1/0/1/0/.192.
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