Week 13 Review

Regulators DEF Bounty Hunters 6-4

Fantasy Baseball has an uncanny ability of making a win feel like a loss, or vice versa. (Of course, as we’ll see with the Jobu/BB review, it also has a way of making a loss FEEL like a loss…) Regs jumped out to a huge lead early in the week, and then slowly watched categories switch hands as the week went on. Regs swept the hitting categories (though steals was much closer than they’d have liked), and he took K/9 for just the 3rd time this year, first since week 6. But there was more to be had… BH took wins by 1, but worse, they took by .01. At 4:30 on Sunday, Regs had 2 relievers in line to perhaps give them an inning and, with a 1-2-3 performance, give them WHIP. Alas, neither pitcher made it into the game. The stupid San Diego bullpen couldn’t keep a 3-1 deficit close, and blew the save chance for Brandon Morrow. I’m sure most of you are thinking “who gives a flying cow?” Blog understands and just needs to vent. Thank you for listening.
> Stud of the Week: Even though AJ Burnett’s 2 awesome starts were critical to BH taking wins/era/whip, we’re going with Bobby Abreu: 6/2/9/3/.474, who was stolen earlier in the year for Victor Martinez (hehehe).
> Dud of the Week: Brian McCann did get an rbi to go along with his .130 average, so this gets slapped on Jeff Francoeur: 0/0/0/0/0/0/0/0/0/0/0/0/0/.143

Legends DEF Papi’s Space Cadets 7-2-1

Just to clarify things: Dictionary.com defines ‘Chock’ as to furnish with or secure by a chock or chocks. Now that that’s settled, blog can’t help notice that Chock is remarkably close to the word ‘Choke’, which is defined as “only getting 4 homers and 60 combined runs/rbi in a week against the division opponent directly ahead of you in the standings.” 3 of those homers and 17 of those runs/rbi came from Evan Longoria all by his lonesome! If Tony Parker’s wife was not on Papi’s team, we’d be looking at 3 records for futility set this week, instead of just tying the fewest HR record. Legends used this win, and the BH loss to leap into first place of the CAN’T division. His average was really, really, bad, and his week was summed up by the numbers Carlos Delgado put up: 4/3/10/0/.160. Carlos had 4 hits all week. It just so happened that 3 were home runs, and 2 were in the same game, one being a slam, the other a 3 run shot. Most importantly of all though, Legends string of 13 straight weeks winning K/9 is still intact. Papi faces Snot/Jobu/Legends the next 3 weeks. Yes, brutal, but you gotta check out the last 3 weeks of his schedule. Geesh…
> Stud of the Week: Look at Legends roster for this matchup: a good, balanced attack, but no real studs. Jermaine Dye had a 2nd solid week in a row, but Evan’s was just better: 7/3/10/1/.433
> Dud of the Week: Ryan Dempster has had a really nice year, but let’s not forget… he is still Ryan Dempster: 0/0/30.86/4.29/3.86.

Snot on the Blog DEF The Swine Nine 6-4

Swine looked to get revenge on their 5-4-1 loss in week 6, but, well, they failed. Snot was fairly fortunate to escape with the win though, as they put up season lows in runs (32), home runs (8 t-week 6) and rbi (35, but they still won rbi thanks to Swine’s 31). Snot swept the pitching categories pretty convincingly as Swine saw their streamed pitchers get lit up pretty good (Blog is looking at you, Micah Owings… you’re not even that good a hitter…). Snot had one pitcher with an era over 3.86 (Hoffman – 13.50. When Trevor Hoffman wants to stand apart, he STANDS APART). Snot also had 8 hurlers get more than a K per inning for the week, led by Saito’s ludicrous 22.50. Snot’s grip on the #1 seed did slip a bit despite the win, because that freight train known as Jobu just keeps on-a-comin…
> Stud of the Week: Even though it was just one start, it was a really nasty start. Tim Lincecum: 1/0/0.00/1.14/14.14.
> Dud of the Week: 8 different Swine starters could qualify for this award, but we’ll go with Nate McLouth, who, coincidentally, used to play for Swine… hmmm… 1/0/1/0/.130.

Jobu’s Hats for Bats DESTROYED BOB’Z BOYZ 9-1

BB is now 33 games under .500, and they’re 2-17-1 in the past 2 weeks, so this has been a very bumpy first season for the rookie. Of course, facing Jobu the Juggernaut doesn’t help. Jobu still hasn’t lost since week 4 (until THIS week that is…), and the last 3 weeks they’re 25-5. Blog hears that’s pretty good. But Jobu hasn’t been putting up quite the dominating numbers lately as he was in say, weeks 7-11. 38 runs, 10 HR, 5 steals, .278avg, 7.59K/9 would have lost to several other teams this week, but it just so happens that Jobu catches good team in their bad weeks, or he catches bad teams in their regular weeks. Of course 9 wins, 2.28era and a .98 whip are always going to be tough to beat. Jobu still has not lost saves, and unless Seattle wins 6 close games this week, they’ll probably win saves again this week.
> Stud of the Week: Blog HAS to go with Jonathan Sanchez: 2/0/1.23/0.82/8.59.
> Dud of the Week: One of Sanchez’s victims was Mark Ellis, who really wrecked BB’s MI position all week: 1/0/0/1/.063.

MC Longball DEF Slump Chumps 5-4-1

Yo Yo, Slump Chump was one run away from his 4th straight tie, and frankly, Blog is very disappointed it wasn't able to reflect on another tie. Word. You know what, in honor of MC Longball’s latest smack talk, Blog is going to rhyme the rest of this review:
Roses are red, these 2 teams are out of the playoffs right now.
Violets are blue, these 2 teams will end the season out of the playoffs. Wow.
Word to your mutha..
Slump tied to record for fewest HR, 4
Longball tied runs, Slump needed just one more.
Todd Jones got lit, but still picked up a win and a save
Blog keeps it real. His reviews are all the rave.
Chickity Check yo-self befoh you wreck yo-self.
Say nope to dope.
Go Blog... it's your birthday...
Blog Out.
> Stud of the Week: If Weaver got that no-hitter, he’s here, but instead, Dustin Pedroia is scorching: 7/2/5/1/.556.
> Dud of the Week: Even though his majesty had appeared to be recovering his 07 form, Prince Fielder plain stunk this week: 1/0/0/0/.042.

Manager of the Week: Jobu comes close to going 2-2 with this award, but taking the opponent into consideration; Legends handled a playoff team and took top spot in his division.

Player of the Week: Evan Longoria appears to have the AL ROY sown up.

Pitcher of the Week: Jonathan Sanchez turned in 2 very quality starts.

Week 12 Review

I want to say first that several of you have referenced your appreciation of this blog in various mediums over the past few weeks. I want you all to know that this MUST continue. There will be special rewards for those owners who acknowledge the brilliance of this blog throughout the season. For example: “Slump Chump magnificently managed to grasp another tie from the jaws of victory this week”. Note the positive adverb ‘magnificently’ included in the analysis. Or, if like the Bounty Hunters, you choose to honor this blog all season long in your smack talk, you will receive favorable reviews such as the following: “Bounty Hunters thrashed BOB’Z BOYZ last week proving that they sucked just a little less then their previous 4 winless weeks would indicate!” Note the exclamation point to emphasize Bounty Hunters less than sucky performance last week. (Even though you’re going DOWN this week!) So, if you want the same kind of biased leanings toward your team on this blog, earn it. I can be bought.

Jobu’s Hats for Bats DEF Snot on the Ball 8-2! Whoa…

Last week, Snot took great offense to my calling Jobu a potential contender. I wonder how Snot feels this morning, after getting throttled by Jobu’s voodoo. Neither team put up the type of offensive numbers we’ve seen from them in the past, but Jobu swept all the pitching categories fairly convincingly. Snot became the first team in CPL history to put up a goose egg for his win total. Despite Snot’s early season dominance, the odds makers in Vegas have taken notice of Jobu’s surge, and this emphatic victory only proves that Snot’s 9.5 game lead certainly isn’t as insurmountable as it appeared even last week. These two contenders have now each blown the other out in their first two meetings this season. The rubber matchup will take place on week 20 when Jobu will host Snot. Getcha popcorn ready… it should be a slugfest.
> Stud of the Week: Both offensives were fairly balanced, so we’ll throw this award at a closer. Joakim the Dream Soria threw up 5 saves this week with an impressive stat line to boot: 0/5/0.00/0.20/9.00
> Dud of the Week: First half MVP candidate Chase Utley completely vanished this week, going 0-24 at one point: 2/0/2/0/.050

Papi’s Space Cadets DEF L.L.Longball 6-3-1

Papi continued his march towards the playoffs by handling the stylish one in their second meeting of the year. Papi owned all the hitting categories, but Longball kept on running wild. Longball now has 32 steals over the past 2 weeks. BOB’Z BOYZ only has 53 for the entire season! Papi hasn’t lost since week 7, and is only 1.5 games out of the 4th playoff spot. Longball’s two week winning streak was snapped, but they are still only one game out of a playoff spot, which does speak to the improvement of the Those Who Can’t Division. Even though the champion will certainly come from the CAN division, it’s good to see the B League keep things competitive this deep into the season. Bravo! (Note, I have not received any positive blog feedback from either of these franchises).
> Stud of the Week: All due respect to Aubrey Huff, we’re pretty sure that Papi is thrilled that Vlad the Impaler decided to show up finally: 7/3/7/0/.440
> Dud of the Week: The Phillies really had a rough time. Pat Burrell makes it 2 for 2 with Philly duds: 0/0/0/0/.143

Bounty Hunters DEF BOB’Z BOYZ 8-1-1 Way to go!

Shockingly, BOB’Z BOYZ was not able to maintain their momentum from not losing for 2 weeks in a row, as Bounty Hunters was able to break their 4 week winless streak in a big way. BB did run into some bad luck, as some ace-level starts were left without the W to show for it, but BH’s stable of elite closers were able to keep the WHIP down and the K/9 up. The injury bug jumped up and bit BH in a big way this week, knocking Carlos Zambrano down for a couple weeks, but Andy Pettitte and Jeremy Guthrie both put up stellar weeks as the Bounty Hunters re-took the lead in the B division. The week could have turned out differently if BB had received any production from the hitters he’s acquired via trade recently, but the elite combination of Mark DeRosa, Mark Reynolds, Hunter Pence and Yunel Escobar went a combined 11/3/4/0. Escobar had the highest average of the 4 at .238. yikes.
> Stud of the Week: Andy Pettitte is on fire: 2/0/0.00/0.92/9.00
> Dud of the Week: I saw this guy hit a home run last year at Pawtucket (or maybe 2 years ago, I forget). But David Murphy didn’t hit much of anything last week: 1/0/1/0/.071

And now, for the snoozers…

Regulators Tied Legends Tied Slump Chump Tied Swine Nine 5-5-5-5

First, Regs and Legends. Each team had a consecutive-weeks-without-losing-a-category-streak going, but only one would leave with their streak intact. Legends became the first team to beat the Regs in steals this year, 8-6, thanks to 2 things: The Regs season low steal total, and A-Rod. That stupid, self-absorbed, arrogant, Yankee, Kobe wannabe stole 3 bases this week, securing the win for Legends. May he tear his groin on his next SB attempt. Meanwhile, Legends has now won K/9 12 weeks in a row. His totals have gone down progressively for the past 4 weeks, but still, no one has been able to take that category from him yet. Only Swine Nine has a higher K/9 on the season, but expect that to change since he’s traded every last one of his K/9 heavy pitchers. On a positive note, Regs backed into the 6th playoff spot. Yippee. Legends currently sits 4th. Yippee skippee.
> Stud of the Week: Jermaine Dye went OFF: 7/5/13/0/.417
> Dud of the Week: Thanks for nothing BJ Upton: 2/0/1/0/.211

Second, Slump Chump and Swine Nine: Slump Chump did set a record this week with his ridiculous .345 average, but unfortunately for him and Chumps everywhere rooting on their hero, his team couldn’t pitch a lick. Swine you know, ran a little, pitched a little better. Nothing spectacular. Slump now has 3 ties in a row. Swine has 4 ties so far this season. These two teams are beginning to excel at mediocrity. Looking on the bright side though, they really don’t have the stress of trying to make the playoffs to deal with down the stretch, so they got that going for them… which is nice…
> Stud of the Week: Prince Fielder finally found some veggies that taste like steak: 9/5/8/0/.364
> Dud of the Week: Kyle Davies still has a job, both in the majors, and in fantasy! 0/0/33.75/6.00/6.75

We’re adding a few small things to the review as a way for the Fantasy Regulator to continue to judge others. Here we go:

Manager of the Week: Jobu is on an historic run, and thrashing the current top team is icing on the cake.

Player of the Week: Jermaine Dye of Legends

Pitcher of the Week: Andy Pettitte of Bounty Hunters

Week 11 Review

Week 11 Review or…

“The continued demise of the defending champion Regulators, both in 2008 AND 2009“

I feel like Sideshow Bob. I take a step and I get a rake up in my face. I step in the other direction, I get another rake, I wander over here, rake, there rake… the camera pans back and I’m seen stuck in the middle of a hundred rakes, all waiting to smack me in the head. That is what Justin Upton, Alex Gordon, Carl Crawford, Mark Teixeira, Alex Rios and ALL my pitchers have done to me… they’ve made me use stupid analogies in my reviews, cause I want to delay the inevitable. Delays will now continue:

BOB’Z BOYZ TIED Slump Chumps 5-5

On a weekend that featured the most amazing golf tournament since the 1913 Open, the NBA Finals between two storied franchises, and a matchup of the past 3 CPL champions, we were treated to a tie, between the 9th place team and the 10th place team. Awesome. Let’s try to be positive though: Now, neither franchise has lost for 2 weeks in a row. BB has a win and tie, Slump has 2 ties. In fact, my stupid team has lost 2 weeks in a row, so what does that say about my stupid team?? Sorry… positive… um. Shaun Marcum’s good. JD Drew’s been good. (I cut BOTH of them). I can’t do it… they tied, if they played all 22 weeks of this season, they’d tie every week. it is what it is, and I’m in 7th place.
> Stud of the Week: Would have been Drew, but BB won 3 offensive categories, so we’ll go with Carlos Beltran: 7/2/8/1/.400. Good enough to get his manager fired, and to probably get traded to Swine Nine for Skip Schumaker, Radhames Liz and Vicente Padilla.
> Dud of the Week: I almost feel dirty doing this, but hello Chipper Jones: 0/0/1/0/.133

Papi’s Space Cadets (need a shorter name, and one without apostrophes. You too BB) DEF Bounty Hunters 7-3

These 2 teams continued their trends as of late, with Papi blowing by the 500 mark, and Bounty Hunters, after their great start, are steadily creeping back towards even. Papi also got the news that Big Papi is steadily improving, so he could be getting a huge power boost as we head into the 2nd half of the season. BH tried to shake up his roster, dealing a busted up Soriano for Parker Brothers and Joe Nathan. BH now has 3 of the top 5 closers in the game, but it wasn’t enough to take saves from Papi this week (4-3). The ironic thing is, it was BH’s thirdbaseman, Edwin Encarnacion, who blew Papelbon’s 2nd save of the week, costing BH a tie in saves. Of course, Papelbon vultured that win, giving BH the edge in that category (6-5). Just thought you should know. Bounty Hunters will face Regulators, BB and Slump Chump over the next 3 weeks, so they should be able to get back on the winning track, cause those 3 teams are lousy, but losing Wanger certainly isn’t going to help. Papi is 24-13-3 the last 4 weeks, and is currently only 3 games back from the division lead and the #2 position. One other note: Papi has yet to lose WHIP. He joins Legends (K/9) and Jobu (Saves) as the only franchises to not lose a category
> Stud of the Week: Ryan Dempster has been a waiver-wire gem so far this season, so this is also in recognition of his work so far this year: 1/0/2.00/0.44/11.00
> Dud of the Week: Jeremy Guthrie lost WHIP for BH all by his lonesome: 0/0/9.64/2.57/1.93

Jobu’s Hats for Bats DEF Swine in ’09 8-2

The hottest team in the league stayed that way as they thumped the pigs, even as the pigs began plans for next year. After going winless in the first 4 weeks, Jobu has now gone the last 7 weeks without a loss. Either Jobu’s scouting department needs a significant raise, or they are the luckiest franchise going right now, as ALL 7 of their spot starters last week delivered quality outings. This enabled Jobu to become the first franchise to record 10 wins in a single week. They were very close to sweeping the week. Below average numbers in average (.234) and K/9 (6.4) would have wrapped up the sweep. Not to get ahead of ourselves, but if the current week 12 scores hold up, we could be looking at the new favorite to bring home the title down the stretch. In the meantime, keep a close eye on your keeper-level players. There is an APB out for the individual pictured here. He is accused of stealing top-level players and in return leaving mediocre fantasy players with cool names like ‘Hunter’, ‘Joba’ and ‘Tim’.
> Stud of the Week: Ted Lilly. Jobu is uberlucky. 2/0/2.13/1.03/9.95
> Dud of the Week: Victor Martinez went 2/0/0/0/.125, and then went on the DL. Ladies (you know who you are…) & Gentlemen, the one bright spot in Regulators season doesn’t even happen on his team.

L.L. Longball DEF Legends 6-4

Longball played smallball this week as they threw up a CPL record 17 steals against the Legends last week, breaking the record of 14 held by Regs and Slump Chumps. Besides that…lets see… no other records, no other even really good stats… um… Legends had their 3 week winning streak snapped, and Longball’s won 2 in a row… yeah… Oh! Lets make a quick reference to Longball’s smack talking skills… crud, I did that last week… though this weeks was also elite: “I’m untouchable but I’m forcing you to feel me”. Fo shizzle my nizzle. Word.
> Stud of the Week: A-Rod finally busted out, but how can we ignore the fleet feet of Willy Tavares? 2/1/3/9/.300
> Dud of the Week: Even though Vernon Wells and Michael Young were pretty bad, we’ll go with Brad Penny: 0/0/17.18/2.45/0.00 + one trip to the DL.

Snot on the Ball DEF Regulators 7-3

Sigh… Regs have now lost 4 of the last 5 weeks, and his stupid players show no signs of turning things around. Snot, after losing his first week of the season, is back on the winning track. It was kind of close up until the weekend, but the defending champs are floundering flirting with the ‘those who can’t’ division for 09. I will now go and admire my 08 championship bobblehead…
> Stud of the week: Ryan Doumit was awesome in a losing cause: 8/4/7/0/.400. He produced more from the C position this week than Regs got from all his other catchers all year combined. Grady Sizemore was close, but he was pig-napped.
> Dud of the week: There were some brutal pitching performances, but none compared to the awfulness of Justin Upton: 1/0/0/0/.083. yikes.

Week 10 Review

My most sincere apologies for the week 10 review delay. I must admit to a character flaw: When I get smoked 8-2 by the last place team, I really, REALLY don’t want to talk or write about it. But, I need to earn my paycheck, so here goes:

Week 10 Review:

BOB’Z BOYZ DEF Regulators 8-2.

No seriously… 8-2

It really wasn’t close all week… 8-2… geesh…

Regs didn’t take one stupid pitching category, and it wasn’t because BB put up Sandy Koufax numbers either. 4 days into the week, Regs era was hovering around 9, his whip was around 2, his k/9 around 5, and his pride was way below, well, whatever measure you use for pride. Pitiful. Regs has now lost 3 of the last 4 weeks: 2 of them to immediate family. (Insert scream of futility and horror here). Meanwhile BB won his 2nd week ever, thanks… in large part… to… the… Wright… trade… oh man… I should have just skipped this week…
> Stud of the Week: Yunel “I replaced David Wright” Escobar. This jerk went 7/2/6/0/.313 in his first week on his new team. What a selfish ding-dong. Poop head.
> Dud of the Week: Alex Gordon: The supposed fantasy stud went 0/0/1/0/.071. Very nice. This lead to his being cut, since which he has gone yard twice. I’m announcing my retirement from fantasy baseball next week.

Legends DEF Snot on the Ball 7-3

Well, there will be no 22-0 this year. Legends enjoyed possibly their best week in franchise history, defeating the previously unbeaten boogers in a matchup that wasn’t even as close as the score indicates. Snot won 3 categories (HR/SB/W) by one each. Snot was 2 homers, 2 steals and 2 wins away from being called ‘Beatable’ for 2 weeks. That may seem like a lot, but it stands in contrast to the way Snot had been rolling recently. Legends was so dominating this week, that had they played BOB’Z BOYZ, they would have wound up with a 9-1 score. And BOB’Z BOYZ won 8-2! Now, are the Legends that good, or are the Regs that bad! (and yes, ultimately it is all about me). These 2 franchises are currently the front-runners of the league. Their teams are getting healthy, and if their rosters can maintain their pace from the first 2 months, this could have been a finals preview.
> Stud of the Week: Legends had some elite pitching performances, but we’ll give this one to Manny, who carried over his 500 momentum to go 6/3/9/0/.381
> Dud of the Week: Despite some atrocious one-and-done pitching performances, Justin Morneau put up this un-legendary performance: 1/0/2/0/.179.

Swine Nine TIED Papi’s Space Cadets 5-5

Swine is now in full-fledged ‘2009’ mode, but they were still able to wack a franchise record 19 home runs and knot up Papi. Swine hit the ball well, Papi pitched the ball well… I wish there was more. Now, some random thoughts about these two teams: Victor Martinez. He he he… Papi’s team appears to be where Corner Infielders go to die. Ortiz, Zimmerman, Figgins are all banged up. Good thing Snot was too good for Ryan Ludwick. Mark DeRosa? (6/3/5/0/.350) Seriously? The Cubs could be really good this year. Is the Cliff Lee magic over? In a word… yes.
> Stud of the Week: Milton Bradley went OFF this week: 12/5/9/4/.478. Wow. Quite a week. Good enough to get traded for a guy with a broken hand…
> Dud of the Week: Has Aubrey Huff not won this award yet? What a travesty! 2/0/0/0/.118.

Jobu’s Hats for Bats TIED Slump Chumps 5-5

Yawn… another tie. This matchup was closer than the other tie, but yet, there was no winner, there was no winner… did it even happen? The #8 team tied the #9 team. No offense to those involved, but whoopee. Lets talk Celtics. What a stinkin awesome game last night! I love this team. They’ve been the best team in the league all year, and their only flaw has been that it took them a few weeks to adjust to playoff basketball. Paul Pierce has taken a huge leap the past 2 months, cementing his HOF status, his number in the rafters, and his status as an all-timer here in the awesomer and awesomer New England sports scene. KG is a defensive beast, and Ray Allen, when he’s on, is the smoothest player I’ve even seen. I can’t wait for them to wrap this up Sunday. Kobe Schmobe… good thing you’re #24, ‘cause you’ll NEVER be #23.
> Stud of the Week: Danny Ainge! Or, Chipper Jones continued his quest for .400 and 2008 CPL MVP: 4/3/6/2/.579
> Dud of the Week: Dustin Pedroia 2/0/1/0/.0000000000

L.L. Longball DEF Bounty Hunters 6-4

After going unbeaten for the first 7 weeks of the season, Bounty Hunters is on 3 week winless streak, and it appears that early season magic may be migrating North for the Summer. But, just to show that we don’t focus on the negative here, Bounty Hunters broke Longball’s record for highest ERA in a week, posting a robust 7.17 era! Congrats! Longball broke his 4 week winning streak, and still finds himself on the fringe of the playoffs, a ½ game back of the #6 Papi. On a more positive note, apparently, chicks dig him. Let’s also give Longball props for his poignant and acerbic smack talk, “Come get some, you little bum”. I got chills…
> Stud of the Week (besides Longball): Dan Uggla’s giving Josh Hamilton a push for ‘steal of the draft’. 9/2/6/1/.455
> Dud of the Week: If Beltre’s not hitting homeruns, he’s not hitting: 2/0/1/0/.095.

Easter Egg Links

On my last few updates, I've included a bunch of links to teams and player pages. However, starting this week and going forward I'll toss in one Easter Egg link that will usually be some lame attempt to be witty. The first person to find the Easter Egg and post on the league site which link it was hidden in, will win a free draft pick, courtesy of Snot on the Ball! Happy Hunting!!
-Regs

Week 9 Review

Legends DEF L.L. Longball 8-1-1

Two franchises headed in different directions met in the biggest beating of the week, with Legends handing Longball their 4th straight defeat. In fact, over the past 4 weeks, Longball is a brutal 9-29-2, placing them firmly in 8th place. Legends, finally getting some of his players healthy, won their 2nd week in a row and now sit in 3rd place overall, 2.5 games behind the Bounty Hunters. It's certainly helps that A-rod and Manny have begun to rake, but it sure doesn't hurt to grab the someone right before they have the absolute greatest rookie week since that young lefty prospect David DEF Goliath 5-0.
> Stud of the Week: Even though Manny had a nice and historic week, we have to go with The Boss, Jay Bruce. Ridiculous... There is no reason this guy should not be on my team. I will now chew a lemon with rusty nails stuck in it. 10/2/6/2/.591!!!
> Dud of the Week: This just in: 2008 Ivan Rodriguez is really, really bad: 0/0/1/0/.056.

Jobu's Hats for Bats and Bounty Hunters TIED 5-5

If this were the playoffs, Jobu would have won based on his victory in ERA. but it's not the playoffs, so they both just kissed their sister. After winning 6 of the first 7 weeks, Bounty Hunters has now had 2 winless weeks, while Jobu had his 4 week winning streak snapped. Jobu lost runs after putting up his worst weekly total this year (37) while BH could only manage a .228 average. Good thing for him all of the hits BH's players got this week were homeruns. Honest. Don't check it. BH has to see Legends in his rearview mirror, but he is playing Longball this week, so all his teams ills should be remedied fairly quickly.
> Stud of the Week: Even though Pujols is deserving, we have to give this award to a closer for the first time. Kerry Wood had a very nice week: 0/4/0.00/0.80/14.40.
> Dud of the Week: Even though BH had 9 (whoa!) players hit below .230, and 6 hit below .200, we're throwing this award at Aaron Harang, who did not help in any way, shape or form: 0/0/13.50/2.50/4.50.

Regulators DEF Swine Nine 5-4-1

I don't even want to talk about how this score should have been 6-4. Thanks to what is now known as 'Wrightgate', Swine was able to tie homeruns and split the category. Wright was so enthusiastic to play for the Pork that he slugged 2 homeruns his first game in a Swine uniform. Oh, and those 2 homeruns on Sunday from Mike Jacobs also helped. wait... Mike Jacobs was also cut by BOB'Z BOYZ... I smell conspiracy!! (at least Swine kept Mark Reynolds and his 2 homeruns on the bench... he he he).
> Stud of the Week: Mark Teixeira FINALLY did SOMETHING: 3/3/13/0/.333
> Dud of the Week: Mark Reynolds gets this award this week, but only because his manager did not put him in a position to succeed, and left him and his one-big-day on the bench: 1/0/0/0/.200

Snot on the Ball DEF Karma Chameleons 7-3
In a very bizarre contest that saw Jacoby Ellsbury steal a base FOR BOTH TEAMS, Snot continued to wipe his nose on the rest of the league with a 7-3 thrashing of the fading cultured reptiles. Not a whole lot to else to say (besides Utley is AWESOME), so lets review a trade that happened back in April: Snot sent Jose Reyes to Karma for Jake Peavy and Robinson Cano. Here are their contributions this week:
Jake Peavy - DL
Robinson Cano - 1/0/0/0/.118
Jose Reyes - 10/3/4/3/.367
...and KC is still whalloped 7-3... ouch...
> Stud of the Week: Chase Utley is just ridiculous: 9/5/14/2/.391
> Dud of the Week: Even though Mike Napoli wants this for the 2nd week in a row, we're going with Mr. Mark Hendrickson, who posted this beauty: 0/0/24.55/2.73/2.45. ...and he's still on the roster.

Papi's Torn Tendon Sheaths DEF BOB'Z BOYZ 6-2-2

This could have been a lot worse, and for most of the week, it was. But on Sunday BB was able to grab 3 homers and 7 runs to win the former and tie the latter. (ladder Snot?) The acquisition of an ace and a stud closer wasn't enough to win a pitching category for BB, but they should win him some pitching categories down the road. Of course, it cost him David Wright, only the #2 thirdbaseman, arguably a top 5 player... for a pitcher and a closer... geesh... One interesting note, Papi has not lost WHIP in 9 contest so far this year. This is in large part to the great year Doc Halladay is throwing up there. He's now striking guys out, which makes him a certifiable stud in this league right now. Too bad they've lost their name sake for the forseeable future.
> Stud of the Week: Not a whole lot of offense here, so we'll give it to DOC: 1/0/1.13/1.13/10.13.
> Dud of the Week: Since we can't give this to managers for awful trades, we'll go with Adam LaRoche. who stinks. he stunk last year... but here he is... with a job...3/1/3/0/.143.