Week 1 Review 2009

Finally! The first week of the season has come to an end, and to celebrate (or seethe), about how the 2009 CPL Season kicked off. It’s also time to reintroduce Blog’s Weekly Review! I know I know… try to contain your excitement.

Jobu’s Hats for Bats (aka US Navy SEALS) def Total Recallers (aka Somali Pirates) 10-0

There have been 3 previous skunks in the 2+ year history of the CPL. This is the first for Jobu, and certainly the earliest we’ve ever seen one. WW3B (this is a family blog) even had 2 first round picks in the draft, compared to Jobu’s 0. What does this mean? Does it mean that first rounders in this league (6th rounders in other leagues) are over-rated? Does it mean that Jobu just drafted circles around WW3B? Does it mean absolutely nothing since it’s super early? I think there’s some truth in all 3 actually, but back to the point… Jobu THROTTLED WW3B. The only category WW3B had a chance in after Thursday was K/9. Sadly for WW3B, Joe Saunders can’t strike his grandmother out, and her sciatica has been acting up since 1998. 54 runs, 14HR, 10 svs, .95 whip (nice)… those are solid, solid numbers for Jobu. Maybe Jobu’s draft didn’t stink as bad as Blog thought it did… than again… Old Man Johnson was drafted ahead of Gallardo (who took it VERY personally by smashing an Old Man Johnson ‘fast’ ball for a HR) and Greinke. That may end up being a poor decision. Regardless… Jobu’s 10-0, and WW3B is still looking for that first W.

Stud of the Week: Jobu had 3 closers score 3 saves each with top notch %’s, but the stud of the week is the stud of the decade: Prince Albert Pujols: 7/3/9/0/.375

Dud of the Week: Chris Ray’s not closing for the O’s, and he’s pitching like it, but Lastings Milledge (pick # 97) was so bad, he’s now the starting CF of the Syracuse AAA team: 0/0/1/0/.158

Papi’s Space Cadets DEF Shadow of a Snot 9-1
Shadow of a Snot did not meet minimum requirements.

Well, it pays to have a plan. Shadow sold 2009 for a 2008 title. There’s no revelation there, and there are going to be more of these scores going against the defending champ than not (Until Snot plays WW3B). But to miss the minimum IP requirement? Is Shadow throwing categories to make sure there are no playoffs this year? I mean, we can all understand Longball missing the IP requirement… twice… but the commish? Sounds fishy… there was even a pre-emptive posting saying oops! Dumb me! I don’t buy it… Anyway, Papi’s team hit MUCH better than its name sake (who is done). 55/15/63/4/.316?? sheesh. The RBI record for a week in 2008 was 64 (2x’s by Legends). The pitching wasn’t great on either side, but it was much less great for Shadow. Not that it mattered anyway since the terrible 8 transactions a week rule cost Shadow all the pitching categories.

Stud of the Week: Evan Longoria does not believe in your Sophomore Slump: 5/5/10/1/.481

Dud of the Week: There were quite a few not good performers here for Snot, but for many reasons, Jason Motte takes the award this week. At least he got to try to close ONE game in the bigs! 0/0/15.43/3.00/11.57


Legends DEF Bounty Hunters 6-3-1
The 2008 First Loser celebrated their first week in the CAN Division with a nice victory over BH. Blog would like to take this moment to again congratulate BH on winning the VAFL championship this year. Good thing, because looking at the BH roster… lets just say the title streak will probably end at 1. Legends somehow managed to finish 2nd in 2008 without trading any 2009… bizarre… how does that happen? Anyway, the numbers for both teams in this matchup weren’t super duper. .269 won average. 4.08 won ERA. Both teams tied with 9 home runs. Those aren’t going to get it done most weeks. 8 wins (BH) and a 9.4 K/9 (Legends) will get it done… and they did… get it done…

Stud of the Week: Ummm… welll… Figgins did get 5 SB, winning the category by himself, but a .263 average? Well that did beat BH too… ok I guess it’s Figgins: 7/0/1/5/.263

Dud of the Week: Ladies and Gentlemen… your #3 starter for the New York Yankees… The Korean Konqueror… Chien-Ming Wang! 0/0/17.18/3.27/0.00. And guess what! Wanger is in the running for this award 2 weeks in a row!

Swine Nine DEF Bobz Boyz 8-1-1
First of all, this score should be 7-1-2, but the Boyz committed a rookie sin in their sophomore year: They left James Shields (who, if you don’t know, is pretty good), on their bench Sunday. Shields secured a win for his team and this should have tied Swine with 5 wins a piece. Of course, there is this quirky rule that requires a player to be active for his stats to count. It sounds Communist to me, but so be it, Swine wins wins, 5-4. Swine’s plan was throw all his eggs into the 2009 basket, and so far, the basket’s looking pretty good. That pitching staff is either going to be very, very dominant, or very, very DL’d. Except for the wife beating bully Bret Myers. He’s terrible healthy or injured.

Stud of the Week: Hanley played like the man he is, but man, Johan Santana was electric: 1/0/0.71/0.87/14.21.

Dud of the Week: Sexei Alexei Ramirez sure doesn’t like to play in the cold: 2/0/2/0/.150

Fine… last but not least…

Ryan Howitzers DEF Regulators 7-2-1
Ouch. What a crummy way to start the season. Getting blown out by a flippin rookie… We almost had an Easter Day Miracle there early as Regs got close in 6 categories he ended up losing, but it was squelched by a lot of poor play later in the day. Of course, there already was an Easter Day Miracle a long time ago, it’s kind of the whole reason for Easter, so it’s probably a good thing the comeback didn’t happen: Blog may have gotten carried away. The Howitzers were solid across the board. Very tight ERA and WHIP numbers combined with just enough runs, rbi, sb, avg and saves made for a nicely balanced week. That fantasy stalwart Derek Lowe got things kicked off with that 2 hitter opening night. Way to step up Philly. Turds. RH only scored 3 saves this week, but it was enough as Regs could only muster 2. It’s hard to get a save for the Nationals when the Nationals havent’ won a game yet. yuck.

Stud of the Week: Miguel Cabrera would sure look good in a Sox uni… 5/3/10/0/.520

Dud of the Week: JJ Hardy… JJ Hardy… JJ Hardy… JJ Hardy… What does the JJ stand for? It stands for SUPER TERRIBLE SHORTSTOP. Trust me, it does. 1/0/0/0/.059

Week One Player of the Week: Evan Longoria is the early pick for MVP.

Week One Pitcher of the Week: Maybe Lester for Johan Santana wouldn’t have been such a bad deal for the Sawx?

Week One Manager of the Week: I think it’s pretty unanimous that this one goes to the US Navy SEALS. Job(u) well done boys.