Blog has heeded the call of the PA and you will be blessed by the results. With the playoffs starting in just a few days, Blog is going to give odds on each teams chances of winning the 2009 CPL title. We’ll also rank each teams attributes on a scale of 1-10. We’ll rank batting and speed for the O, and Starters and Relievers for the D. You’ll get the bottom 5 today and the top 5... sometime later. Vegas will have these odds on their boards Saturday morning, so make sure to see your bookie before Monday. Let the beatings begin:

#10 – Bounty Hunters
Record: 70-130-10
Weeks: 1-20… seriously… by week 12 he was 1-11 and still waited until the last week to start playing for 2010? That’s some misplaced faith right there, and actually, some missed amusement… ask Snot how much fun it is to plan for next year.
Hitting: 1 – BH is last overall in Runs, HR and RBI. Not just last, but very last. They are the only team with less than 840 runs (782). They are the only team with less than 207 HR (182) and they are the only team with less than 797 RBI (690!!). Their average is ranked 2nd overall, which can be attributed directly to Ichiro’s presence. Michael Young and Aramis Ramirez are the only 2 players currently on the roster with averages over .300 besides Ichiro’s .360. In week 8, BH set the record for average in a week posting a .355. If that average were simply .300 (which would win most weeks), BH falls from 2nd place into a 3 way tie for 4th (.279). BH probably should have hit the transaction max each week trying to correct this offensive nightmare, and he’ll need to be much more aggressive next year during the season if he wants to bump up these numbers and contend for the playoffs in 2010.

Speed: 2 – BH did have some decent speed guys in Ichiro and Bourn, but since Bourn was moved, the running has slowed dramatically. If Bourn was still here, the speed would be about a 5, but moving Bourn was certainly the right move.

Starters: 1 – tied for the 2nd fewest wins, 4th highest ERA, 2nd highest WHIP, 2nd lowest K/9. Sigh… even if Peavy was healthy, he’s not going to make the difference here. The roster is full of ok guys with era’s in the high 3’s and K’s in the low 7’s. There are pseudo-aces in Zambrano and Marquis, and big let-downs in Dempster and Harang. Let’s move on…

Relievers. 1, but again, BH moved 2 quality closers (Papelbon and Valverde) at the trade deadline, so at one point, it was much better. However, there were 7 of the top 25 closers in terms of save were claimed off the FA pile, and not one was grabbed by BH.

Odds to win it all: Infinity to one, barring divine intervention… for 2010.

Bonus Coverage:
Bounty needs to become less married to his roster next year. How in the name of Nick Esasky is Garrett Atkins still owned in this league?? Atkins should have hit the road in June once it became clear to everyone that, you know, he was terrible. That’s not hyperbole either… he was TERRIBLE. Yet there he sits in BH’s 1B slot with his .229 average and 8 homeruns on September 2.


#9 Legends
Record: 88-108-14
Weeks: 8-9-4
Hitting: 4 - Legends is the team leading the ‘legalize roids!’ bandwagon. How else are Manny and A-Rod going to stay dominant into their late 30’s?

Speed: 7 - Figgins and Upton are 5th and 6th in SB’s this year. If Upton can ever bring the rest of his fantasy game along with his speed, he’d be a top 10 player, but as it is, these guys can run. Mark Reynolds has stolen 22 bases this year to propel his season into ‘top 5 surprise season of the past 5 years’ status. The only reason this number isn’t a 10 is because of the leg injuries to Beltran and Reyes. Blog needs to see their speed again before Legends rules the basepaths, and since that’s not going to happen this year, 7 it is.

Starters: 3 - It was much better before the trade deadline, but as it stands now, it’s a slew of 3rd and 4th starters who define mediocre. (See Lowe, Derek and Pettitte, Andy).

Relievers: 2 There are 2 waiver closers here. They’re not elite, but they’re still closing games, and since Legends is out of the playoffs, there are at least 2 teams (initials BB and BF) who will be watching them secure meaningless saves in the consolation tournament as one of them loses saves in the playoffs.

Odds to Win it All: 100,000,000,000 to 1, but they’re down to at least 100,000 to 1 for 2010…

#8 Brain Freeze
Record: 96-105-9 (record the past 3 weeks? 6-24… it’s now the #4 definition of ‘choke’ on wikipedia.)
Weeks: 8-9-4 (same as Legends, but if the season ended 9/2, BF would actually be in the playoffs… bizarre)

Hitting: 8 – BF is 4th in runs, 1st in HR, 2nd in RBI and 3rd in average. Hitting was not this teams problem… unitl the past 5 weeks. Out of 25 hitting categories, they’ve won 5. That ratio is step #2 in the ‘how to plummet from the #2 seed to #8 seed in 5 weeks’ manual. Still, they haven’t been eliminated yet, and they get to play BH in week 22.

Speed: 2 – 2nd to last in steals to this point, BF is very fortunate that Bartlett and Cruz decided to have breakout campaigns, otherwise the speed would be a -2. No true burners on the roster means that BF will probably not win this category down the stretch… (hopefully, if they take the #6 seed).
Starters: 4 – This would be a 6 if Halladay had been dealt and went turned into CC or Lee post trade. Instead, Doc has made it clear that his heart and arm aren’t in it down the stretch, and by extension, neither is BF’s rotation. Lester, Lilly and Weaver are all ownable, but between them you get a 3.50 era, 1.20 whip and 8.5 K’s (7 without Lester). Those are winnable numbers, but when you have to rely on De La Rosa, Anibal Sanchez (??) and the Tiger-terrible Washburn, you’re not going to win many pitching categories in the playoffs.

Relievers: 2 – coincidentally the # of closers on the team. Wilson and Gonzo were closers at one time, but right now they’re simply % guys who may luck into a save. Lidge, though a closer in title, stinks, so he’s just as likely to blow up your ERA as get a save these days. Next year, your team name should be ‘Brian Wilson?’

Odds to win: 500-1. Since I’m typing this on Friday and BF has a 9-0 lead and the current 6th seed, this is a lot better than the trillion to one he would have had on Monday… Here’s hoping that’s not a trend. (again, I’ll have the 3 seed)…

#7 Karma Kameleons
Record: 93-102-15
Weeks: 10-10-1

Not going to waste a lot of time here since KK didn’t find it necessary to waste time on his own team. Too bad… he was 4-2-1 down the stretch and had legit shot at sneaking into the tourney. Adios.

Hitting: 5 – pretty average across the board. Some nice pieces, and the overall #’s could have been better with some moves here.
Speed: 0 – Juan Pierre got all his SB’s for Snot, Damon doesn’t run anymore, and Prince Fielder too fat.
Starters: 6 – 2 aces (Lee and Verlander) but a bunch of average after that. (Zach Duke? Ew.)
Relievers: 6 – 3 elite closers.

Odds to win it all: 1,000,000,000,000,000,000 to 1… if through some ridiculous miracle KK makes the tourney and wins, I quit fantasy.

#6 Bobz Boyz
Record: 97-98-15
Weeks: 10-10-1

This number’s probably going to change this week, which is bad news for the Boyz, because the playoffs start Monday. Overall, though this season was still a disappointment based on the starting position (done with the draft by the 13th round…), it’s a vast improvement over their rookie campaign. If this trend continues, the Boyz may win a title by 2014… if Regs and Snot are banned from the internet.

Hitting: 3 – Look at all the disappointments still on the roster: Berkman, Quentin, Ramirez, Bruce, Ludwick… even Markakis. They all produced in some fashion, but none lived up the pre-season expectations. If ½ of these guys had stepped up, this could have been a very different season.

Speed: 5. Ellsbury himself can win steals in a week. He leads the majors and has put up decent across the board numbers along the way. Choo, Aybar and Ramirez have done some running, but not enough to keep the overall numbers above mediocre.

Starters: 4 Sabathia and Cain are both very good this year, but just not quite fantasy aces. The K/9’s are both under 8, and fantasy aces have to get above that #. Garza and Shields were average, and there was never really a consistency to the back end of the rotation. Should the Boyz have at least made an effort to get Haren/Lackey/Beckett? Yes… yes they should have.

Relievers: 0… let’s move on…

Odds to win it all: 5,000,000 to 1… it’s not that easy to go from down 8-2 to up 8-2 in 3 days, but that’s what BB has to do.


Teams 5-1 will get posted later… at some point… maybe…